Why Do Women Get Married In White?

September 5, 2008

Why do women get married in white? So that they match all the other white goods in the kitchen.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Yeah, yeah, getting boring now! Jokes meant in good humour because the kitchen has always been the domain of women with men professing to know nothing of how kitchen appliances work.

However, with newer, smarter and more technologically advanced appliances on the market its no longer seen as a wimpy thing for a man to understand the workings of a kitchen.

You dont need smaller feet to stand at the sink when you have a high tech dishwasher that you can programme using its on-board computer to wash and dry the dishes at the optimum energy saving time. Breaking dishes is no longer an excuse for getting out of the washing up.

Neither are consumers restricted to white goods anymore. Silver, black and pink are among the numerous colour options available to integrate all your appliances.

I cant cook is no longer a feasible excuse for staying out of the kitchen when ovens are available on the market to work out the perfect cooking times and temperatures at the touch of a fancy digital display.

The same applies to washing machines. If you can operate a Playstation, then you can operate a washing machine. Simple buttons and attractive displays should be enough to attract the simplest man.

Equipped with the latest technology to work out the weight of a load, the optimum amounts of water and ideal wash time there is just no excuse anymore. Even the environment is catered for with minimum water and energy being used without the need for any forethought on the behalf of man.

The term white goods is still in use though and covers fridge freezers from the most basic of models that keeps food chilled or frozen to the almost robot detail of the fridge complete with scanner. This will scan food labels and provide a list of things needed. You can even receive shopping list emails from your fridge straight to your laptop so you can pick up dinner on the way home with no excuse.

For the bachelor who likes to entertain, a wine cooler is a must. Looking like a fridge but internally designed to hold numerous bottles of wine this appliance doesnt necessarily have to stay in the kitchen.

Coffee makers have advanced to a point where a few minutes programming to start with will provide personalised coffee to four individuals. Type of coffee, amount of milk, amount of water and water temperature can all be specified.

For the smaller kitchen, an all singing, all dancing microwave combination oven is a space saving option. Cook the food mega quick and brown it off under the grill without even having to change to a different appliance.

So, youve been emailed by your fridge with your shopping needs which you picked up on the way home. You make yourself a cup of tea with water straight from the new fangled tap that provides instant boiling water. Throw the dinner in the oven and let it do the working out while you remove clean, dry clothes from the washer/dryer that did its stuff while you were out.

After dinner, waste is fed to the waste disposal unit and the dishwasher takes over with the cleaning while you sit and relax with a cup of coffee made to your requirements and previously timed to be drinkable just when you are ready for it.

A perfect evening for a single, or married man. And not just the gay ones.

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